If "Twilight" Was About Dragons

Ok forgive the grammatical error in the post title. I'm just copying it from the title of the story. (It should be "were" because it's the subjunctive....and now you're falling asleep, sorry--back to the point of the post).

This story is probably funnier if you're at all familiar with the Twilight series, but even if not, it's an amusing read. So dive on in to the next great American bestseller: Enter the Dragon.

My one complaint? No guest appearance by Trogdor.

The blogger/author says about himself, "I’ve been writing semi-professionally for the internet semi-soberly for the past few years. Writing for the internet is to literature what aimlessly punching statues in the nuts is to karate, which is to say that it makes me slightly more qualified than your average, mentally disadvantaged homeless man."

The Hunger Games

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins


My rating: 5 of 5 stars

WOW. Okay. So I admit, I was a little skeptical about reading this book, but WOW. I read pretty much non-stop from a Saturday evening to Sunday afternoon, and I would have probably read it all in one day had I begun in the morning.

This is technically a young adult book, but it will hook ANYONE of any age. A dystopian novel, The Hunger Games is set in the country of Panem, which used to be the US. The country is divided into districts of varying levels of prosperity, from the well-off to the poverty-stricken, but all districts are under the absolute authority of the Capitol. In punishment for past rebellions, each of the districts must send two young people to compete in the annual Hunger Games--a sadistic Survivor-type competition that ends only when one victor remains and the others have killed each other off or died from exposure, starvation, and so on.

The novel has echos of Brave New World, Roman gladiator culture, reality television, and The Road. It's a brilliant reflection on power and privilege, human fascination with violence as entertainment, voyeurism and privacy, rebellion, and of course, teenage romance (written in a smart, non-cheesy, complex manner). The sequel comes out September 1...not sure how I am going to make it till then! Better than most so-called adult literature I've read in the last year, hands down.

View all my reviews >>

Worst Harry Potter Tats

In honor of HP 6, here are the worst Harry Potter tats. I mean WOW. I think the #5 (pictured above) is actually the worst of them all, particularly given that it covers a woman's entire thigh!! WTF. As gross as it is, though, the tattoo work itself is impressive---look at those teeth! They might leap off her leg and rip apart my soul into a series of horcruxes!

Smark sent me this too and gets mad when I don't give him credit.

Neutral Man's Burden

This is one of the funniest editions of "The Word" on the Colbert Report in recent memory. Colbert has a brilliant take on the grilling of Sotomayor and the difference between how she is lambasted for making a comment about her background helping her make judgments and how Alito three years ago was applauded for discussing his own family's Italian background. Apparently life experiences make you a better judge...if you are a white male. If you're anyone else, well, you're a clear Band-Aid (watch the clip).

My favorite line is the first one about touching a hot stove. Love it. Thanks to Smark for sending me this.

Eternal Moonwalk

Yes, everyone's sick of the MJ coverage...but this is too fun not to share. I'd describe the site...but just watch. The best dancers are the kids and random people in costume, but the terrible dancers are probably more entertaining than the good ones. I also saw a cat, a puppet, an office chair, and a car do the moonwalk--impressive! Lesson learned: (unsurprisingly) Germans, Beligians, and assorted Eastern Europeans are not good dancers at all.

You can even add your own fancy pants moves!

Thanks to Steak for the link.

Chickpea Salad

I'm following the Big City Cooking blog and finding some great ideas. Yesterday I made this very simple and tasty chickpea salad (picture is from their site). It was blend of great summery tastes, especially the cilantro and red onion. Living in Texas now, the thought of cooking anything that's hot is extremely unappealing, so I'm collecting good recipes for cool treats. I'd recommend adding a bit more garlic and parsley--the cilantro sort of drowns out the parsley taste, so you might want to adjust the ratio slightly depending on your own taste preferences. As a commenter suggested, I'd also add a bit of red wine vinegar next time (and slightly reduce the olive oil). Maybe some celery for a little more crunch? Lots of possible tweaks, but it was already quite tasty as is.

YUM!

Pug Pushing a Pink Stroller

Exactly what it sounds like. I'm not a huge fan of pugs, but this video may just have changed my mind. Sure to make your Monday a bit happier!

50 Movies for 50 States

Excuse my absence...I have GOT to get a new laptop! Mine is officially dead, so I use Mark's old desktop, which is in our un-air-conditioned den. Add five weeks of 100+ degree heat and you get almost no blogging from Leslie.

Anyway, here's a fun list/interactive map from Rotten Tomatoes, my favorite and most trusted source for movie reviews (along with Netflix user ratings). In celebration of July 4, the site chose movies that they feel best represent each of the states in the US. Before I started clicking around, I though, what are they going to do about obscure states like South Dakota and Wyoming and Delaware? Little did I know (or little did I remember, I should say, having seen all these), Dances with Wolves, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and Fight Club are set in those states respectively.

Some of my faves from the list:

Oregon: The Goonies
Kansas: The Wizard of Oz (obviously)
Georgia: Gone with the Wind (obviously)
Alabama: Fried Green Tomatoes
Idaho: Napoleon Dynamite
Illinois: Blues Brothers
Ohio: Bye Bye Birdie
West Virginia: We Are Marshall
North Dakota: Fargo (obviously)
New Jersey: Clerks

And of special note, New Hampshire gets "On Golden Pond," a GREAT movie starring Katharine Hepburn and Peter Fonda in the late years of their careers (1981). It's a tearjerker but a must see. I saw it with my grandparents when I was young and it has stayed with me for years. Bring lots of tissues.

Georgia gets the picture for this post because I miss it. Lots.

Musings on Lady Gaga

I'm not quite as up on pop music as I used to be in my younger years, but I kept hearing Lady Gaga's music on the radio and reading her name bandied about in celebrity magazines--so I got curious. Her songs at first grated on me, but the more I heard them (especially Poker Face and Love Game) I started to love them. I saw her nutty performace on American Idol and was not sure if I thought she was a train wreck or brilliant. Either way, I was intrigued. I picked up an issue of Rolling Stone at the gym and read the cover feature on her, which was pretty fascinating (not an adjective I'd have expected to use). This link is just a slice of the article--the whole piece is worth a read, though, if you see the issue laying around.

Her entire persona, from her music to her fashion choices to the way she markets herself, is one massive piece of performance art. She compares her work to Andy Warhol's, which seems pretty on target (especially if you've read his book Popism). She's calculating, scarily self-aware, and highly ambitious about her career and the specific legacy she wants to leave on the music world. Watching her videos, they look like parodies of other pop starlets' videos but that's not how she intends them to be. You find yourself thinking, she can't be serious with this...but she is dead serious about perfecting the Pop Music Video. They aren't parodies--they are her own style, which has taken the genre to an absurd extreme that comes off as parody but is actually something new. Postmodernism at its best.

I also like this Slate article on her, especially this exerpt:

Gaga's highbrow bibliography and performance-art theatricality are key to this aura-building, but it's to her credit that she doesn't attempt a regal remove from the debased celebrity culture that trampled all over her favorite Mouseketeer. Instead, Gaga dives into the mud and wrestles with it. We see this in the canny way she plays off of the troubled legacy of her '90s teen-pop heroes. Whereas Britney debuted as a towheaded virgin whose career went on to encompass her public deflowering, Gaga debuted already-defiled: "Just Dance" is about stumbling drunkenly around a nightclub and turning your shirt inside out without knowing it. In this way, Gaga wrote her public meltdown into her very first single while remaining a deft guardian of her actual private life—a teasing pre-emptive strike. In "Poker Face," a celebration of mind games and bedroom power plays, and "Paparazzi," which compares love to stalkerish picture-hunting, Gaga plays a girl completely in control and completely comfortable among the dizzying, superficial signifiers of tabloid-era femininity.

Roker 1, Speidi 0

Al Roker is my new hero for actually calling out Spencer and Heidi Pratt's utter and complete ridiculousness and delusions of grandeur re:their own fame and claims that they aren't acting to get attention. It's pretty hilarious and pathetic to watch them try to defend their idiocy as shown on clips from that "I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here" show that even I, lover of trashy reality tv, refuse to watch. Speidi of course limply attempted to strike back with Heidi playing the victim, but it's just laughable. Really? You don't know who Al Roker is? REALLY? You cried about the label being peeled off your shampoo?? Seriously? If you're acting...well, well done I suppose. If not, just WOW.

Glorious pop trash at its best and worst, and best.

He's Created a Monster!

Nothing says threat to society like amusing roadside art...good thing the fine police force of Raleigh got this NC State Dr. Frankenstein off the street! No word on what happened to Frankenstein's monster. I hope he survived the sting.

Arlington: The Rap

If you've ever spent any time in Arlington (or comparable Northern Virginia suburbs), you'll love this rap ode to the hood. I especially like the homage to the Orange Line of the Metro, a route I grew to know and love-hate during my summers spent in Nova and DC. And the Stabucks, the Starbucks, the Starbucks, the Starbucks...

Thanks to Geeps, my favorite Arlington resident, for the link.

Zack Attack

Yes, yes, I know...this was all over the internet today, so everyone and their brother has seen it, but I can't resist posting it on the slight chance that one of my dear readers has NOT experienced this joyful nine minutes of nostalgia.

Watch Mark Paul Gosselar appear on Jimmy Fallon's new show in character as Zack Morris. We learn several things from this:

1) Zack Morris is not only cooler than Jimmy Fallon (obviously. Zack is cooler than 99% of people and Jimmy Fallon doesn't exactly set the bar high), but he's much funnier. I know the point of this was for him to steal the segment, but he does so a liiiittle too well.

2) Great stage makeup (with copious amounts of bronzer) really can erase 20 years.

3) While the Zack Attack had a great song in "Friends Forever," what we really need is a performance from "Hot Fudge Sundae."

4) Gosselar's new show "Raising the Bar" probably saw strong ratings for the premiere based on that segment. I kind of feel obligated to watch next week simply to thank Gosselar for making my afternoon. Plus, it also has Gloria Reuben who played Jeanie on "ER" and Jane Kaczmarek from "Malcolm in the Middle." Oh, who am I kidding---I'll wait till it comes out on Netflix.

Worst. Advice. Ever. Srsly.

On a much lighter note than yesterday's post, here's a funny compilation of the absolute worst, cheesiest, schmaltziest, moronic-er-est, most cringe-worthy advice tidbits from those terrible 6.99 books you find in the bargain bin at the bookstore or in gas station checkout lines. This blogger claims he read 24, 504 of these gems (tidbits that is, not complete books)--whether or not he's exaggerating, he clearly read more than any human could be expected to withstand without vomiting on his or her shoes. I tried to pick out a few of the funniest, but I gave up because the list was too long, so read for yourself.

Note: this picture has nothing to do with the post, but it's my favorite LOLcat, and I think that's as good a reason as any. I also recognize that some people feel as much hatred for LOLcats as this dude blogger does for cheap advice books, but I happen to LURV LOLcats. They are soooo six months ago and stupid and overdone...and they make me laugh every time. So there.

Late-Term Abortions

So admittedly this is not the cheeriest of posts, which I'm sure you gathered from the heading. This article was linked from CNN, so you may have already seen it, but if not it is REALLY worth a close read. If I had to choose, I would have to call myself pro-choice over pro-life (I hate those terms, don't you??), but I am and have always been deeply conflicted about the question of abortion. Late-term abortions, however, always seemed in my head like a much more straightforward issue: if the mother's health is not in danger, aborting a late-term child who could survive on his or her own is not something society should support. Seems simple (a word entirely inappropriate to the issue of abortion, I realize).

A heartbreaking situation like this woman's however, is not something I'd ever thought of. It's horrifying. What she does, though, is take her personal tragedy and force people like me, who too easily draw the line on late-term abortions despite being minimally informed, to understand that late-term abortions are perhaps infinitely MORE complicated and difficult an issue than abortions in earlier trimesters. This article has stayed with me for several days since I read it, and it will do the same to you, I promise. It's very sad, uncomfortable, and painful, but very very VERY important to read. Bravo to Lynda Waddington for writing this.

Undercover at Liberty University

NPR sums up the story of a Brown University student, whose own childhood he described as the "ultimate, secular, liberal upbringing," enrolling for a semester at Liberty University (founded, of course, by Jerry Falwell). My first instinct on reading the teaser for this article was to grimace--I would have expected a self-righteous, searing criticism of the school and its students' backwardness and disconnection from reality. I was more inclined to make this assumption because while Brown is a *great* university, the spectrum of ideologies among the majority of its own student body is almost as narrow as at Liberty (it's just on the other side of the fence). I was pleasantly surprised, then, to read that Kevin Roose felt he got a much more accurate and fair picture of Liberty than he ever could have from an outside perspective. He is writing a book on his experiences---when he told his Liberty friends the truth about his presence there, they reacted with excitement and interest instead of anger. Roose himself was changed by the experience:

Even though he's back at Brown, Roose still tries to pray every day. He says the act of prayer changes him, referring to the writings of Christian author Oswald Chambers.

"He said that it's not so much that prayer changes things as that prayer changes me — and then I change things," Roose says. "That's going to be important for me — to sit down every day and think about the problems and the challenges facing other people in my life, and really trying to increase my own compassion that way."

So here I go on my nerd soapbox: THIS is why I love qualitative research. Live it, see it, experience it, hear the words and thoughts of the subjects firsthand, and acknowledge that you cannot be objective. That's not the point. Let the experience change you, if it will. Report your bias, and report with honesty and care. I will definitely check out his book.

Oak Ridge Boys do...The White Stripes??

Ok, this is bizzare, but I kind of don't hate it! The Oak Ridge Boys have a new album coming out on which they cover The White Stripes' "Seven Nation Army." This clip has only the audio, but give it a listen. I'll definitely give them credit for creativity and guts. I don't think this is something I'd actually download, but I'll admit, it's attention-getting. Also, I mean, they are geriatric. GOOD for THEM even to still be making music and singing live. I love how they sing the main guitar riff on the song!

I have a special place in my heart for the ancient ORBs because they are one of my dad's favorite bands, and I was able to see them play in Athens last year with my dad and Mark. It was AWESOME. So on that same note, just for fun, here's my favorite ORBs song (gotta love those outfits, and the 'staches! Oh, the 'staches!) ELLLLLVIRA!

Space Monkeys

Fun NPR article about the 50-year anniversary of the first successful space monkeys flight: Miss Baker and Able successfully experienced nine minutes of weightlessness before returning safe. Sad to read about the previous animals (monkeys and dogs) who didn't survive the trip. The two successful monkeys would get "100 to 150 letters a day from schoolchildren;" one of the monkeys had 300 mourners at her funeral. I've had the silly, sweet pleasure of seeing both the grave of Miss Baker in Huntsville (where people leave bananas) and Able's stuffed body at the Air and Space Museum. Yes, I've been to space camp---TWICE. Thanks, Girl Scouts and gifted class at school! Mark is soooo jealous.

You go, monkeys!

Austin update

I'm going to blame Mark for my lack of blogging this month. It's not his fault, but it's more fun to blame him than my own laziness! He hasn't been able to set up the wireless in our house, and so we're sharing one computer. I am going to continue to pester him until he gets it straight so that I can once again use my laptop and get back to blogging.

In the meantime, here's a whirlwind overview of what we've been up to in Austin.

1) Eating great food: I'm a big fan of Mexican, and this town's full of it. From the super cheap hole-in-the-wall taquerias to fancy pants locales with full bars and gleaming tables, every variety of Mexican you could possibly want is here. Friday night we went to Trudy's, one of the more famous places in Austin that has several locations. They have a Mexican Martini (a margarita in a martini glass) that is strong and delicious. My entree was a stuffed avocado---breaded, fried, and stuffed with chicken. Heart attack on a plate--YUM. We also really liked the Moonshine Grill downtown, where we went on my birthday. I had the trout and it was some of the best fish I've ever had.

2) Testing out the entertainment and leisure activities: Though we haven't been to see live music yet, one of the quintessential Austin experiences, we've found some fun things to do. We took Laveau for a long walk around Town Lake (aka Lady Bird Lake, the new name, but most people seem to still call it Town Lake). This is a long, skinny lake made from a damn on the Colorado River, and it's right downtown. It's a shady and pretty escape right in the middle of the city (see picture above).

Last night we went to the Alamo Drafthouse, a movie theater where you can order appetizers, drinks, and dinner while you watch. The staff also puts together a funny series of clips on the topic of whatever movie is playing (Star Trek for us) that runs for about an hour before the movie starts. It's worth getting there early just to watch the clips. One of the locations is five minutes from our house, so we'll be going a lot.

3) Exploring our neighborhood: We really love our neighborhood so far. People are very friendly and always outdoors. We have a nice park at the end of our street (only eight or so houses down from us) that is a great place to walk the dog. It's been a while since I've lived in somewhere that was really a community, but this certainly is. I don't know that it's the place for us to meet young adults who we'll hang out with, though we've met plenty of friendly people of all ages who have warmly welcomed us.

Immigration Reform

Interesting, important article about the present and future of immigration reform in the US. The author gives an overview of what's happening now, what's on the horizon, what groups are involved and how, and offers her thoughts on what humane reform should look like. An excerpt:

On an everyday level, what do immigrant rights mean? And how do immigrant rights affect Americans who are not recent immigrants?

On an everyday level, immigrant rights means the right to be free of fear. Fear that at any moment you can be picked up and be separated from your family; the sense that everything you have worked for is fragile. Having to live with the fear of traveling within the U.S. and being stopped by police and questioned about your status, fear of not having identification that is so necessary in everyday life, the fear of crossing the border to be reunited with your family because of the danger if you try to come back. Fear of approaching the police if you are the victim of a crime. Fear of jail. Fear of hunger. The anguish of having to make the choice between seeing your family, in many cases your children or your aging parents, or sending them money to help them survive.

Immigrant rights affects all workers because historically, we have only raised the quality of life for working people in the U.S. by organizing across ethnic, racial, and gender lines. Immigrant workers are one segment of low-income workers in this country. If we are going to turn low-income industries into living wage industries immigrant workers have to be organized and the threat of deportation is a powerful weapon that employers use to threaten workers.